You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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