i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in