How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
