Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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