guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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