the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
