I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
