He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Randomize
