How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
