Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
