yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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