in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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