Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
