it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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