DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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