yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
