i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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