Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
