I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
