i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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