Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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