At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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