he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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