I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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