South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wear drunk well.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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