I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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