Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
