That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
