Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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