I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
