Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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