I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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