I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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