Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
