your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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