he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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