How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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