I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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