FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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