the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
