its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
