You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My penis needs a shock collar
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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