me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
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Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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