Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
