Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
