Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
