i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
After last night, I could never be a politician.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
