she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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