I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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