Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
