I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
