the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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