i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
