im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This is the high leading the old right now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
