whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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